Alright, Let’s Get Into These First-Time Home Buying Tips. I’m Still Recovering.
So, you want first-time home buying tips? Cool, cool. I literally just bought my first house like, four months ago? In Denver. The process was less “educational journey” and more “a series of increasingly frantic Google searches while eating cold pizza in my apartment.” I’m writing this at my new kitchen island, which has a weird stain I can’t get out (already), and I can hear my dog trying to bury a treat in the couch. So. Yeah. I’m qualified to give this first-time home buyer guide in the same way a car crash survivor is qualified to talk about driving safety. Here’s what not to do in 2025.
Also I forgot to pay my water bill last month because the website is confusing. So. Grain of salt.
The “Before You Even Start” Stuff That’s Boring But Critical
I skipped like, half of this. Do as I say, not as I did, seriously.
Tip 1: Your Credit Report is Probably Lying (Or You Are)
I swore my credit was “like, really good, upper 700s maybe?” It was 712. Which is fine, but not for the best rates. And there was a random $35 fee to a streaming service I forgot about from 2021 that was just… sitting there. Draining my power. Check your report on AnnualCreditReport.com (that’s the legit free one). It’s a slog. Do it anyway.
Tip 2: Get the REAL Pre-Approval. The Scary One.
There’s “pre-qualification,” which is like a vibe. Then there’s mortgage pre-approval, where they dig through your financial underwear drawer. It’s uncomfortable! They asked me about a Venmo payment to my friend “Steve” for “pizza and stuff” from six months ago. It was a fantasy football buy-in. They did not care. But having that solid pre-approval letter is the only reason the seller took me seriously over the other two offers. It’s a golden ticket.
The House Hunting Part: Where You Lose All Sense of Reality
You will get addicted to Zillow. You will see houses in your price range that look like crack dens and go “hmm, with some paint…” No. Stop it.
Tip 3: Make Two Lists. “Die Without” and “Would Be Nice.”
My “Die Without” list: 2 beds, central air (Denver summers are no joke), and a garage. My “Would Be Nice” list: hardwood floors, open concept, a fireplace. I saw a house with a waterfall in the backyard (tiny, plastic, but still). It had NO GARAGE and the AC was from the Reagan era. I was ready to sign. My agent, bless her patient heart, said “Remember your list.” The list is your anchor.
Tip 4: Visit at Stupid O’Clock.
See the house at 5 PM on a Tuesday. That’s when everyone’s home. What’s the traffic noise like? Do the neighbors have eight barking dogs? Is the street a cut-through? I saw one house at 10 AM on a Saturday—it was peaceful, sunny, perfect. My agent made us go back at 5:30 PM Tuesday. The next-door neighbor was practicing drums in his garage. Not, like, good drums. House hunting tips are useless if you don’t see the daily grind.
The Offer & Inspection: Peak Anxiety Hours
I cried twice. Once from stress, once because the inspection found “active rodent nesting” in the attic. It was a whole thing.
Tip 5: Your Agent is Worth Their Weight in Gold. Find a Pitbull.
I almost went with my cousin’s friend who was “getting into real estate.” Thankfully, I didn’t. I found Linda, a woman with the energy of a retired general. When the sellers were being difficult about the inspection fixes, she didn’t yell. She just sent a one-line email: “We will withdraw our offer at 5 PM today unless we have the signed repair amendment.” We had it by 4:58 PM. Get a Linda.
Tip 6: The Inspection Report Will Give You Nightmares. Breathe.
It’s designed to scare you. It will list every scratch. “Window seal slightly degraded.” “Minor efflorescence in basement.” It sounds like a disease. Your job is to find the big-ticket items: roof, foundation, HVAC, electrical, plumbing. The rodent thing was big. We asked for a professional treatment and they did it. The “slightly degraded window seal”? That’s a future-you problem. Prioritize.
Tip 7: Save for Closing Costs. Then Double It.
Everyone talks about the down payment savings. NO ONE PREPARED ME FOR CLOSING COSTS. It was another like, 3% of the house price. Just… gone. Poof. For paperwork. Then, the day I moved in, the garage door opener broke ($300), the doorbell didn’t work (who cares, but still), and I had to buy a fridge because the house didn’t come with one (???). Have a “Oh Crap” fund.
Closing & Moving In: The Bittersweet Blur
Tip 8: The Final Walk-Through is Your Last Chance to Chicken Out. First-time home buying tips
Do it. The house should be empty. Mine wasn’t. They left a gross, broken sofa in the basement and all their old paint cans. We made them come get it before we signed. Also, test EVERYTHING. All the lights, all the outlets, all the appliances. I didn’t test the garbage disposal. It was… full of something unspeakable. My fault.
Tip 9: Change. The. Locks. First-time home buying tips
I did this. But I did it myself from a YouTube tutorial and I think I did it wrong? The deadbolt is weirdly stiff now. But at least I know no one else has a key. Probably worth hiring someone, honestly.
Tip 10: Live in the Blank Space for a Minute. First-time home buying tips
I wanted to paint everything gray and install smart lights immediately. I’m so glad I waited. The light in the living room at 4 PM is this amazing gold color that would look terrible with gray walls. I’m going with a warm white. Wait. Learn the house. It’ll tell you what it wants. Also, you’ll be broke from the down payment and closing costs, so you’ll have to wait.
So… Yeah. That’s My Story. First-time home buying tips
Those are my first-time home buying tips. It’s the hardest, most stressful, most adult thing I’ve ever done. But you know what? It’s mine. The weird stain, the stiff deadbolt, the attic that maybe still has a mouse ghost or two. I’m drinking coffee from a mug that says “BOSS” ironically, in my own living room, and it’s a feeling that’s hard to describe.
Call to Action: For real, start saving like, $10 more a week than you think you need. Read the HUD Home Buying Guide (it’s dry but has gems). And be nicer to yourself than I was. You’re gonna mess up. It’s gonna be okay. Probably.
Anyway, my dog just found the weird stain. Gotta go.
